My son will move out in 10 days, and I wonder if I can truley let go.
He has been with me for almost 20 years now, and I am reminded of this poem I have had for forever (authour unknown). It gives me strenght to know that he has all the tools I have given him to manage life on his own. I will always be here for him, but I know that this is part of being a parent.... letting go. I love you George!
I can't protect you any more.
I can't make your hurt go away.
I tell you I love you and show you I care.
I try to help out when things don't seem fair.
But my power as a mother goes only so far.
I can't always reach the places you are.
I want to be close like we were before,
But you want to move on -- to discover what's more.
When you were a baby, I'd hold you tight,
And keep you forever within my sight.
I could satisfy your every need,
It was an easy time for us indeed.
And when you were a toddler and scraped your knee,
You'd hold out your arms and run to me.
I'd kiss where it hurt and make it feel fine.
A hug and a kiss worked every time.
I was always the one you turned to then.
I wish it could be like that again.
But now when you're sad you turn away,
And I don't know what words to say.
You're my little boy, but you're growing up fast.
I feel you slipping from my grasp.
I want to hold on, but I know it's time
For me to let go of this child of mine.
I long to protect you, to shield you from pain.
But I have to remind myself time and again,
That you have to experience life on your own,
While I stand back and leave you alone.
I try to be there when the going gets tough.
Sometimes growing up can be so rough.
But I also feel proud of the person you are.
I know that you're strong and that you'll go far.
I realize it's time to start letting go.
I've taught you so much of the things that I know.
As you step forward, I'll take two steps back.
It's not easy for me, but I'll soon get the knack.
I'm letting go, but I'll never be far.
You can always reach me, wherever you are.
I watch you proudly as you start on your way.
My love goes with you as we start a new day.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
"Not merely an absence of noise, Real Silence begins when a reasonable being withdraws from the noise in order to find peace and order in his inner sanctuary."
I have been trying to live by this quote I came across a few days ago.
It gives me peace to know that I can control the noise around me.....
I can choose to engage in it.....
or I can choose to ignore it.
My eldest son has been horrid to me this past month, and I have realized that the only way I can fight back is to remain silent. When he starts berating me, or accusing me of being a horrible mother; I try to block him out and find peace within myself to continue being the positive person I am. One day I know that he will mature and realize that what he had was wonderful. One day he will wake up and apologize for being who he is right now.
But whatever happens, I know that I will find inner peace by refusing to listen to the noise!